Selwyn Park Playground(Kid, Pet, & Adult Friendly)

No Parties Yes, we love fun. No, we don’t love your cousin’s DJ setup or 27 of your “closest friends.” If your idea of “a quiet dinner” involves a fog machine, this isn’t the place. No Smoking or Vaping Please keep all smoke—tobacco, vape clouds, sage cleansing rituals, and whatever else—outside the property and our lungs. The walls are very sensitive and complain to us when they smell things. Quiet Hours: 10pm–8am During these hours, please pretend you’re tiptoeing through a library run by ninjas. Feet light, voices lower, and absolutely no late-night “just one more karaoke song.” Respect Our Property We adore our furniture, appliances, and décor. They’re like our children—except they don’t talk back and we’d like them to stay that way. Please treat everything as if you’ll be questioned about it by your grandmother. If Something Breaks, Tell Us Things happen! Glasses fall, handles wiggle loose, gravity betrays you. Just let us know. We’re very forgiving—unless you try to hide it. Then we suddenly become CSI: Airbnb. Have a Good Time—Within Reason Enjoy yourself! Relax! Live your best life—just not the kind of best life that involves police visits, emergency repairs, or us writing your name on a secret list of “never again.” ***IF YOU'RE BRINGING A PET*** Here’s a funny, sarcastic, guest-friendly “Pet Etiquette” summary you can use for your Airbnb listing—lighthearted but still clear about the rules: --- ## **🐾 *Pet Etiquette: Because We Love Your Furry Friends… Within Reason* 🐾** Welcome, humans and their four-legged supervisors! We’re thrilled to host your beloved pet, your majestic fur child, your emotional support loaf—whatever form they come in. But to keep the peace (and keep the HOA from sending us strongly worded novellas), here’s the official, *slightly* sarcastic guide to Pet Etiquette: --- ### **🏠 INSIDE THE HOME: The “Please Don’t Let My House Become a Zoo” Guidelines** **🐶 1. Furniture Isn’t a Pet Playground** We love your pet. Truly. But they don’t need to “try out” every sofa, chair, or bed like they’re judging the comfort level on Yelp. If they *must* lounge in luxury, bring blankets to protect furniture from fur, drool, and existential scratches. **🍽️ 2. Snacking Is for Humans Only** Pets should not feast on the dining room table, kitchen counters, or the bag of snacks you’ve definitely promised yourself you wouldn’t eat at 2 a.m. Paw-free surfaces, please. **💩 3. If They Make a Mess, Pretend You’re a Crime Scene Cleaner** Accidents happen. We get it. But if your pet leaves any… “presents”… please clean them up immediately like the responsible, loving pet parent we believe you are. **🎤 4. Noise Levels: Keep Their Podcast to a Minimum** If your pet is a talker, barker, meower, screecher, or interpretive-dance squeaker, please keep the noise at a respectful volume. Your neighbors may not appreciate the 3 a.m. remix of “Who Is That Walking Outside?!” --- ### **🏘️ IN THE COMMUNITY: The “Please Don’t Get Me in Trouble with the HOA” Rules** **🐾 1. Leashes = Mandatory Fashion Accessory** In the community spaces, your pet must be leashed. Yes, even if they “never run away” or are “basically a tiny angel.” The HOA does not care. The leash stays on. **💼 2. Poop Bags: Your Must-Have Travel Accessory** Pick up after your pet. Every. Single. Time. Pretend you’re on a reality show where leaving poop behind gets you instantly eliminated. **🌳 3. Use the Back Yard (AKA Pet Paradise)** This is where your pet can frolic, zoom, sniff, and judge other dogs’ behavior in peace. Please avoid letting pets treat common areas like their personal restroom. **👋 4. Not Everyone Loves Pets (We Know—We Don’t Understand Either)** Be respectful of neighbors who are “allergic,” “not dog people,” or “just trying to carry groceries without being enthusiastically sniffed.” Keep your pet close and courteous. --- ### **🐕 FINAL THOUGHT** Your pet is welcome here—they just need to behave like they’re visiting their classy aunt’s house, not their college roommate’s apartment. Thanks for keeping your furry friend fabulous and the community friendly!

You get the whole place to yourselves. Go nuts!